Jose Altuve Walks-Off Yankees to Cap Miracle Comeback

Take that Aaron Judge, ya very big crybaby.

Tiny Jose Altuve crushed a killer homer yet again against the New York Sore Losers, this time to cap off a six-run, ninth-inning, walk-off miracle comeback.

What a shock!

Face it. For eight innings the Astros were terrible today. Hell, the bats have been pretty awful all series, neigh, for the last two weeks.

They gave away runs with bad fielding. The pitchers walked 14 batters, a franchise record. Starter Framber Valdez had another terrible outing, allowing three runs on six hits and six walks in only four innings, putting the Astros in a hole that, given the recent weak hitting, it seemed the team could not escape.

When Blake Taylor came in the eighth inning and gave up three more runs with four walks and a home run, well, I wrote the following headline:

“Astros Collapse Complete as They Lose Their Fourth Straight Going Into the All-Star Break.”

But in the bottom of the ninth, the Astros bats busted loose. It’s like someone found the hidden kryptonite that some angry Yankee fan had hidden in the dugout and then the Astros Superman bats suddenly reemerged.

It started meekly enough: with a Yuli Gurriel swinging bunt single. But then the only Astro really crushing it during the slump, Kyle Tucker, followed with a double off the wall in left field, to go along with a homer and a walk. This hit chased Domingo German, who had come in replacing starter Jameson Taillon. On came the very capable Chad Green.

Super-Rookie Chas McCormick promptly hit in both runners with a double to deep left-center, and Abraham Toro hit in McCormick with a double off the wall in right at the bullpen.

Jason Castro was sent in to pinch-hit for Robel Garcia and on the first pitch punched a single to center sending Toro to third and the score 7-5 with no outs.

Martin Maldonado, who homered earlier, hit a weak line drive out to shortstop Gleyber Torres. If Torres had fielded the ball on a hop, he would have had an easy double play.

Instead, Jose Altuve came to bat as the winning run.

He did it again! In the last series in New York, he walked off the series finale with a homer. We know what he did to walk off the 2019 ALCS. Aaron Judge sure hasn’t forgotten.

And he did it again today. On a beautiful slider below the strike zone. A way better pitch than the one he sent sailing that the now-invisible Aroldis Chapman delivered in 2019.

He did it again! Astros win 8-7.

When Hollywood makes “The Jose Altuve Story,” they might have to cut this episode out of the final cut. It’s simply too unbelievable.

Then again, it’s Jose.

The man whose very life proves that anything is possible.