The End

Dear Crawfish Boxes

I think it has been brewing since the cheating scandal, but my fandom has truly been broken. I love(d) my Astros. It started with the 1985 team, I moved here from Germany when I was 15 and didn't know the first thing about baseball but what a year to learn about it. Billy Doran, Mike Scott, Nolan Ryan, Glen Davis, and Jose Cruuuuze. Freaking Mets...

Most controversial thing I remember that year was some misogynistic comment by Bob Knepper... Something about women belonging in the kitchen (don't quote me on that).

The Larry Anderson trade through to the Josh Field trade....I always seem to remember former Astros players even if they only got a cup of coffee or were rentals. I truly enjoyed the rebuild of the team under Luhnow and Hinch. I followed the minors and trades, trying to pick a has-been or almost was and flip at the trade deadline for a lottery ticket and then watching them develop or fizzle.

I truly don't think that the cheating truly helped them...I have absolutely no proof but once something like that becomes a crutch its possible they didn't think they could win without it. Who knows? It did make me ashamed of my 'stros for the first time ever. In my group of friends I was known as the Astro Fan with a weird knowledge of trades and stats...anyone who argued a stat or the original team of a player would sheepishly admit after googling it that yes...Curt Schilling did play for the 'stros until traded for Grimsley who incidentally coaches my friend's son now.

Black lives matter (small letters) is a sentiment every one can rally around. Of course they do. Do we have systemic racism, need Anti-Racism, justify rioting and looting, encourage race baiting and poison the discourse with meaningless political statements? We don't have to. I will meet with you to discuss these issues and I'll even pay the tab after. We will leave as friends. What I don't need is to have a certain way to look at these tragedies shoved down my throat as if its the ONLY way to look at it. Especially by a group of privileged, extremely well paid athletes, adored by millions for there physical abilities. I watch baseball to see amazingly talented individuals play with passion and do things with a baseball I could never dream of doing.

I can no longer watch....i am annoyed by the sports notifications on my phone that show BLM tributes, game cancellations, memorials to individuals that broke the law and paid a price for it that was undeserved but not without blame. So I have erased the apps, canceled the subscriptions and tonight erased the bookmark to this fine site.

So much of fandom is passion and i no longer can find it in me. I hope some day it will come back and I can read about a Dominican phenom or a black kid with a 100 mph fastball after his sleep apnea is cured.

Thanks for the years of enjoyment and keep the lights on!