The Houston Astros IL list is long. Collin McHugh, George Springer, Jose Altuve, Aledmys Diaz, and Max Stassi have all suffered injuries. There has been a mass transplant from Round Rock to Houston in the last couple weeks.
On Memorial Day, Carlos Correa was fine. He sat happily in the dugout, playing with his Yuli Gurriel bobblehead doll, as even the best of us are known to do when we are given a day off from work.
This team brings me much joy. This would be Correa holding up Yuli’s “swing” bobblehead after he got a hit. pic.twitter.com/lJKpXiqfZE— anduins (@anduins) May 27, 2019
On Tuesday, he had a broken rib, that will keep him out four to six weeks. Overbobbling of Gurriel figurines is the usual reason this happens, but not in Carlos’ case. Here is the explanation Carlos offered:
Astros issued this statement from Carlos Correa. He was placed on the IL with a fractured rib that will keep him out approximately 4-6 weeks. pic.twitter.com/Uqttaf8H2K— Julia Morales (@JuliaMorales) May 29, 2019
Really? This only raises more questions! And Altuve’s knee suffered a setback too. Sure, we can nod our heads and say, “That makes sense. I remember those days when I was a physically fit professional athlete in my early twenties getting a massage at home and my rib snapped in half like a 70 year-old osteoporotic woman.”
Or we can offer other explanations as I am wont to do right now. This is my leading hypothesis currently:
Here is my theory. The Astros have a fight club that we don’t hear about because the first rule of fight club is you don’t talk about fight club.— mhatter106 (@mhatter106) May 29, 2019
Altuve kneed Correa in the ribs and here we are.
Our editors, bilbos and HebrewHammah, inform me we must accept all suggestions and theories in the comments section as to how Correa and the Astros are hurting themselves. I invite you do to so as a formality. I’m pretty sure I’ve nailed it, though.
Submit your theories in the comment section below.