clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Houston Astros Haiku Review - March/April 2019

Reflect on the Astros’ first month, seventeen syllables at a time.

By mhatter106
Haikus composed by AdmonkeyTX
MLB: Spring Training-Houston Astros at St. Louis Cardinals Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

One month into the season, relive the highs and lows of the start of the Astros’ 2019 season, one haiku at a time, courtesy of AdmonkeyTX. You can also use this page as a directory to find your favorite games’ recaps, gamethreads, series previews and Crawfish Boxes articles.

Astros at Rays (series preview)

Game 1, 3/28/19 (gamethread, recap): Astros 5, Rays 1 - Cy runner up Verlander defeats Cy winner Snell with the help of 3 opening day dingers. (1-0)

HOU-Ku Haiku #001, Opening Day
This Opening Day
Rays are Schnelled, showing the world
Verlander was robbed.

Game 2, 3/29/19 (gamethread, recap): Rays 4, Astros 2 - A Diaz error leading to unearned runs proves the difference in the Astros’ first loss. (1-1)

HOU-Ku Haiku #002, Salted Nuts
A hard one to lose
Against a former teammate,
Morton salting nuts.

Game 3, 3/30/19 (gamethread, recap) Rays 3, Astros 1 - Despite a strong season debut from McHugh, lack of run support leads to another loss. (1-2)

HOU-Ku Haiku #003, Position Changes
Bregs had a Birthday.
Hundred Million Dollar Man
Buys his own shortcake.

Game 4, 3/31/19 (gamethread, recap) Rays 3, Astros 1 - Yonny Chirinos stymies the Astros’ offense, who drop their third straight game. (1-3)

HOU-Ku Haiku #004, Get Out
Tampa calls it their
hometown Tropicana Field.
Stros’ Tropicanta.

TCB Articles:

Astros at Rangers (series preview)

Game 5 4/1/19 (gamethread, recap) Astros 2, Rangers 1 - Rangers manage just 2 hits against Peacock in his first start of the season. (2-3)

HOU-Ku Haiku #005, Who Could Blame Them?
Ballpark’s last season.
Next year’s Rangers play inside
Minute Maid Park North.

Game 6 4/2/19 (gamethread, recap) Rangers 6, Astros 4 - An uncharacteristically subpar outing from Verlander ends Houston’s 9 game winning streak at Globe Life Park. (2-4)

HOU-Ku Haiku #006, Frustrated Haiku
Runs, runs, runs, runs, runs.
The Astros really need runs.
Runs, runs, runs, runs, runs.

Game 7 4/3/19 (gamethread, recap) Rangers 4, Astros 0 - AJ Hinch is ejected in the Ron Kulpa show, as the Rangers take the series with a shutout. (2-5)

HOU-Ku Haiku #007, Ready for Robo-Umps
Angel Hernandez
Has competition this year.
Sucks? Mea Kulpa.

TCB Articles:

Athletics at Astros (series preview)

Game 8 4/5/2019 (gamethread, recap) Astros 3, A’s 2- The Astros take their home opener on the back of a strong start by McHugh and Correa’s first home run of the year. (3-5)

HOU-Ku Haiku #008, Home Opener
Open the roof, yo.
Dispel those evil spirits;
Got that win tonight.

Game 9 4/6/2019 (gamethread, recap) Astros 6, A’s 0 - Astros shutout the A’s with 3 Yuli doubles and Springer, Brantley and Chirinos homers. (4-5)

HOU-Ku Haiku #009, Grannie Does Your Dog Bite?
The bats finally
Woke up and began to growl.
Let those big dogs hunt.

Game 10 4/7/2019 (gamethread, recap) Astros 9, A’s 8 - Astros sweep the A’s with a walk off Altuve walk, in a gamescript from the Twilight Zone. (5-5)

HOU-Ku Haiku #010, Baseball is Strange
Scream at the rafters,
“Breathtaking weirdness through nine!”
I need oxygen.

TCB Articles:

Yankees at Astros (series preview)

Game 11 4/8/19 (gamethread, recap) Astros 4, Yankees 3 - Astros rally from behind against the Yankee bullpen to win their fourth in a row. (6-5)

HOU-Ku Haiku #011, They’ll Always Be Bums
The last time Houston
Liked a Bum in the city,
He didn’t swing bats.

Game 12 4/9/19 (gamethread, recap) Astros 6, Yankees 3 -Altuve hits his 100th career home run as the Astros again pull out a win in the late innings. (7-5)

HOU-Ku Haiku #012, Taking the Series
A full team effort.
One game left, go find your broom;
The Astros are back.

Game 13 4/10/19 (gamethread, recap) Astros 8, Yankees 6 -Altuve goes yard twice behind an impressive McHugh start for the Astros’ first ever sweep of the Yankees. (8-5)

HOU-Ku Haiku #013, What’s Up, Doc!

McHugh McCrushed it
And the bats backed up his spin.
Next on “The Twelve Six.”

TCB Articles:

Astros at Mariners (series preview)

Game 14 4/12/19 (gamethread, recap) Astros 10, Mariners 6 - Astros ride two grand slams to extend the win streak to 7. (9-5)

HOU-Ku Haiku #014, Filthy Two Ways
Peacock was a beast
With filthy movement both ways:
Home, and to second.

Game 15 4/13/19 (gamethread, recap) Astros 3, Mariners 1 - Altuve homers for the 5th game in a row, and Verlander strikes out eleven for the Astros’ eigth consecutive win. (10-5)

HOU-Ku Haiku #015, Get On Board
Verlander back on,
And ‘Tuve with a hot streak?
You can’t stop that train.

Game 16 4/14/19 (gamethread, recap) Astros 3, Mariners 2 - Cole strikes out eleven to complete Astros’ third series sweep in a row. (11-5)

HOU-Ku Haiku #016, We’re OK With That
They got their homer,
Something we’re willing to give
For a sweep away.

TCB Articles:

Astros at Athletics (series preview)

Game 17 4/16/19 (gamethread, recap) Astros 9, A’s 1 - A Bregman grand slam propels the Astros’ 10th win in a row. (12-5)

HOU-Ku Haiku #017, There Is No Spoon
A grand slam for Bregs
Lights up the Matrix, while Q
Goes full-on Neo.

Game 18 4/17/19 (gamethread, recap) A’s 2, Astros 1 - Frankie Montas and the Oakland pen pitch a gem to end the Astros’ win streak. (12-6)

HOU-Ku Haiku #018, Streaks Are Born to Die
The streak is over
But don’t mourn what could have been,
Start another one.

TCB Articles:

Astros at Rangers (series preview)

Game 19 4/19/19 (gamethread, recap) Astros 7, Rangers 2 - Astros rout Rangers hit hard hit balls throughout the game to take the series opener. (13-6)

HOU-Ku Haiku #019, Funny How That Works
A win, no surprise.
But that’s the way the game goes
When Kulpa can’t help.

Game 20 4/20/19 (gamethread, recap) Rangers 9, Astros 2 - Cole allows nine runs in the worst start of his career. (13-7)

HOU-Ku Haiku #020, Cole Couldn’t
A game for the books.
Until today I’d never
Wanted to burn them.

Game 21 4/21/19 (gamethread, recap) Rangers 11, Astros 10 - Down 10-1, the Astros nearly complete a miraculous comeback, but fall short by one run, a Gallo RBI infield popup lost in the sun. (13-8)

HOU-Ku Haiku #021, Perspective
A football score loss,
But the important thing is,
Travis gets better.

TCB Articles:

Twins at Astros (series preview)

Game 22 4/22/19 (gamethread, recap) Twins 9, Astros 5 - The Astros weather a rocky start from Peacock, but bullpen meltdowns put the game out of reach. (13-9)

HOU-Ku Haiku #022, But At Least I’m Home
We had our chances,
But came up short once again.
Get that MoJo back.

Game 23 4/23/19 (gamethread, recap) Astros 10, Twins 4 - Springer, Altuve and Bregman drive in eight runs to put the Astros back in the win column. (14-9)

HOU-Ku Haiku #023, Turning The Lights On At Closing
Not always pretty,
But an ugly win will beat
A glamorous loss.

Game 24 4/24/19 (gamethread, recap) Astros 7, Twins 1 - Verlander fans eight over eight innings to take the rubber match of the series (15-9)

HOU-Ku Haiku #024, Coming Correct
JV had something
To prove after his last start.
Eye of The Tiger.

TCB Articles:

Indians at Astros (series preview)

Game 25 4/25/19 (gamethread, recap) Indians 2, Astros 1 - Bauer comes out on top over Cole in a pitcher’s duel between longtime rivals. (15-10)

HOU-Ku Haiku #025, Take It In Stride
After twenty-five,
We’ve seen some ups and some downs
It’s a marathon.

Game 26 4/26/19 (gamethread, recap) Indians 6, Astros 3 - Lindor swats two of the Indians’ four homers to power Cleveland past Houston. (15-11)

HOU-Ku Haiku #026, Just Shut Up Already
Negativity.
I’m tired of reading the crap.
You make it no fun.

Game 27 4/27/19 (gamethread, recap) Astros 4, Indians 3 - Tony Kemp hits a 10th inning home run as a pinch hitter for a walk-off win. (16-11)

HOU-Ku Haiku #027, Beautiful
Today, everyone
Has a membership in the.
Tony Kemp Fan Club.

Game 28 4/28/19 (gamethread, recap) Astros 4, Indians 1 - The Astros win on the Earl Weaver formula: Pitching, Defense, and the Chirinos 3-run homer. (17-11)

HOU-Ku Haiku #028, Split Series
We played a tough club
And came away with a split.
We’ll see them again.

TCB Articles:

Astros at Twins (series preview)

Game 29 4/29/19 (gamethread, recap) Twins 1, Astros 0 - An Adrianza solo shot is all the offense the Twins need, as Odorizzi edges Verlander. (17-12)

HOU-Ku Haiku #029, Not For Action Flick Fans
Epic pitchers’ duel
Frustrates the offense of both,
But we came up short.

Game 30 4/30/19 (gamethread, recap) Astros 11, Twins 0 - The Astros return the favor, shutting out the Twins on the back of a 1-hit pitching perfomance by Cole. (18-12)

HOU-Ku Haiku #030, Winter is Coming
On a cold, wet night
Cole threw the big, nasty heat
And our bats lit up.

TCB Articles:

Finally, in the Predict the Astros Mar/Apr Record Contest, the winner is. . . HebrewHammah, who correctly predicted a record of 18-12 and guessed a run differential of 30, just 8 off the actual differential of 38. Honorable mentions go to Orlandocepeda, who also forecasted an 18-12 record, but with a run differential of 47, 9 off the mark. HebrewHammah wins the satisfaction of winning a contest to which he made up the rules.

More From The Crawfish Boxes