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Astros Infinity, Royals 0: Keuchel is boring

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The Astros scored infinity more runs than the Royals on Tuesday, and Dallas Keuchel continued his repetitious march towards greatness.

Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

Is this my first recap of the season? Is it? It is! Hard to believe I've gone this long without a cartoon, a crossword puzzle, or bizarre metaphor in a game recap.

Tuesday's tilt between the AL wins leading Houston Astros and the AL win percentage leading KC Royals resulted in the Astros scoring infinity more runs than the landed aristocracy.  Such an event was fated, even expected, on a night that like this.  Even the heavens bore witness to Houston pitcher Dallas Keuchel's continued brilliance by putting on a show that hasn't been seen since your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was crossing the desert on a camel.

Just like when they faced Lance McCullers on Monday, the Royals' bats had no answer for Keuchel, who struck out seven in eight innings without allowing a walk.  The second coming of "Good Brandon Webb" now has a scoreless streak of 17 innings and a season ERA of 2.03.  Are we bored yet with his relentless dominance?  There's no reason to think that some Delilah waits in the shadows to shave his beard and end his reign of induced futility over American League batters.  And so he continues his Cy Young candidacy pace.  Watch out, Mr. Scherzer.  Houston has its own oddly-spelled ace to compete with you.

Meanwhile, the Astros' bats managed to strike out only six times (a feat so rare, it was worth mentioning first).  Royals pitcher Danny Duffy seemed fairly well in control until the third inning, when George Springer bought everybody in the stadium chicken sandwiches with his two-run homer to left.

An Evan Gattis triple in the fourth...

Wait a sec. I'm not joking.

An Evan Gattis triple in the fourth led to another run when Duffy wild-pitched him home.  Jose Altuve rounded out the scoring with a double in the fifth that plated Mr. Springer.  Astros reliever Pat Neshek closed out the game with an eventless ninth inning.

In the end, it required only two hours and fourteen minutes to humiliate last year's World Series representatives.