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Fearless Predictions for the Astros in September

It finally happened. Thank you, Jose Altuve.

More than just the Silver Boot hung in the balance as the Astros took on the Rangers last weekend. They needed to win three of four games to finish August with a winning record, the second time they've accomplished the feat this season.

More importantly, three wins meant my predicted record would finally come to fruition.

Guess what happened?

Thank you, Jose Altuve.

But, first, let's talk about what I got wrong, because other than that record, there was a sizeable amount of red ink in these predictions.

2. George Springer comes back healthy and takes the HR lead away from Trogdor.

Eff. Effing eff.

8. Marc Krauss will spend more time in the minors.

9. Matt Albers will return from the disabled list.

3. Chris Carter hits four home runs this month.

4. Houston will score 130 runs this month.

5. Dallas Keuchel will win his 14th game, the most for an Astro since Brett Myers did it in 2010.

10. Collin McHugh will get to 140 strikeouts.

6. Mike Foltynewicz will strike out 20 batters.

These were just wrong. Plain, old-fashioned wrong with a side of wrongness. I was eight runs off on the offensive impact this month and that was the closest I came from this entire group.

I will say that I'm glad to be so wrong about ole Trogdor. He hit three times the number of home run I expected him to hit and would clearly be the Astros hitter of the month for August, winning the award for the second straight month.

As for Keuchel, dude threw 42 innings over six starts and allowed a 3.12 ERA but went 0-2. In other news, pitching wins are hot garbage.

McHugh finished eight strikeouts shy of the 140 mark and Folty finished nine away from 20. Thanks to you both for ruining my hopes and dreams.

That just leaves two I actually got right this month.

1. The Astros will go 15-14 this month, equaling their May win total and winning more games by September than they had by the end of any of the last three seasons.

7. Jake Marisnick will bring his career average up over the Mendoza line.

You can have all the other predictions. I finally nailed the record for a month. After coming so close for so many times this season, I got the record exactly, thanks to Jose Altuve's bat on Sunday. Thank you, El Escorpion. May your bat never go cold again.

Oh, and Marisnick's career batting line is up to .212, so he's pretty much MLB-caliber, you guys.

What can I mess up from here? Well, let's call this month a victory lap. Also, assume I'll go 0-for-10 now, flying too close to the sun and seeing my wax wings melt, causing me to plummet into the seas of broken predictions.

1. Houston will finish the season 11-13 in September, winning 70 games for the first time since 2010.

2. Chris Carter will finish the season with 38 home runs.

3. Jose Altuve will break Craig Biggio's franchise single-season hit record with 215 hits.

4. Dexter Fowler will play in at least 20 more games this season.

5. Nick Tropeano will make a start in Houston this month.

6. Houston will have two pitchers finish the season with sub-3.00 ERAs.

7. The Astros will finish with 650 runs scored, the most they've had in a season since 2008.

8. Houston will finish the season 13-6 against the Arlington Rangers, the most wins they've had against a single team since going 13-3 against the Pirates in 2006.

9. Eight pitchers start games for Houston this month.

10. The Astros finish with the fifth-worst record in baseball, giving them the No. 2 and No. 6 pick in next year's draft.