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Astros 5 Indians 1: That ending was, like, erie.

For the first time ever, The Crawfish Boxes presents a one-inning Astros game recap.

By Chris Perry
Marwin hit a solo homer, and then nothing happened until the Ninth.
Marwin hit a solo homer, and then nothing happened until the Ninth.
Jason Miller

Tonight's recap is going to be a little different.  Instead of recapping the entire ball game, in which the Astros defeated the Indians by a score of 5 to 1, I will only recap the last inning.  Here are innings 1 through 8 in one sentence:

Brad Peacock dealt, throwing 5 IP in 60 pitches with zero walks and 1 ER, but left early with forearm tightness, and after a Marwin Gonzalez home run followed by an answering homer by the Indians tied the game at 1 to 1, nothing happened until the 9th inning.

There, now that's out of the way.

NINTH INNING

The ninth inning was legitimately more entertaining than the rest of the game, while simultaneously being a little sad.  Here it is, moment-by-moment.

  • Jose Altuve grounds out un-dramatically
  • Chris Carter walks on four pitches.  The Indians very obviously pitched around him. That's not something that I ever typed in April.
  • This happens.  Keep in mind, Fowler is a left-handed batter in this PA.
Fowler_medium
  • Dexter Fowler hits a grounder right at First Baseman Carlos Santana, who air-mails a throw to second to try to get Carter.  The ball bounces off the shortstop's glove and into left field.  Carter advances to 3rd.  Error on Santana.
  • Gregorio Petit comes in to pinch run for Chris Carter.
  • Cleveland Catcher Roberto Perez guns Fowler down by three steps on an attempted steal, only to throw too low and watch the ball rocket off of SS Jose Ramirez' glove and into right field.  Error on Perez.  Petit comes in to score, giving the Astros a 2-1 lead, and Fowler advances to second.
  • Jason Castro walks.
  • Marwin hits into what should have been a frame-ending double play, but Ramirez, instead of throwing to Jason Kipnis at second, opts to try to nab Fowler as he runs for home.  Fowler ends up in a run-down for the 2nd out, but Marwin and Castro are safe at first and second.  No official error, but huge mental error on Ramirez.
  • On a full count, Singleton homers to opposite field, boasting a great bat flip.  He was all like, "Yeah, bro.  That's a home run.  This bat don't even give a crap.  It's done it's job, now it gonna, like, just chill over here in the dirt."  Seriously, if I had a DVR, I'd have giffed it for you.  Astros lead 5-1.
  • Un-dramatically, Matt Dominguez flies out for the third out.
Then the Indians come to bat against a recently-ailing Chad Qualls in the bottom of the frame.
  • Michael Bourn lines a ball straight at Dominguez, and the ball just kind of...hits him, bounces off, and Bourn reaches first on an error.  The third official error of the inning.
  • Ramirez taps a grounder to the right side, which Singleton charges.  Only, because he charged, nobody covered first.  And he couldn't throw to second in time.  So everybody's safe.  Qualls had time to reach the ball, but not the bag.  Singleton shoulda stayed put and taken the out from Qualls.  But he didn't.  Mental error #2.  9th Inning scoreboard: 3 official errors, 2 mental errors.
  • Michael Brantley lines out un-dramatically.
  • Carlos Santana hits into a 6-3 double-play, mercifully.  Astros win 5-1.

So I asked the Tweety Birds what tonight's headline should be.  The winner was Mike Fast with his pun on Lake Erie.  Of course, when you submit 18,918,357,918,325,791 suggestions, you're bound to win.  Here are some good answers:

At least Mike owns up...

And perhaps even more apt:

Then, in timely fashion, Astros' Social Media Manager Amanda Rykoff comes in with a half-court three just after the buzzer. Which, of course, means I have to edit this post to include her suggestion, so that she will keep inviting me to blogger events at the park. Sigh. What one won't do...

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