Astros 9, Mariners 4: Springer Dingers for everyone

We shall remember this day. We shall remember it as the day the Astros unleashed Full Springer upon the league.

Previously, Full Springer was banned under the Osaka Accords, deemed too powerful in the hands of one team. Yet, here we are, with Full Springer brought fully to bear on the Mariners.

What a result it was. Two home runs. Five RBIs. All of the hopes and dreams of Astros fans carried on that bat into the heavens of Seattle.

Full Springer alone was enough to win Houston the game, despite a late rally by the Mariners. The fact that Full Springer was joined by half Altuve and a quarter Villar is just icing on the cake.

Full Springer also supported Brett Oberholtzer's return to the rotation, giving him that run support he so richly deserved earlier in the season. Full Springer might have also been responsible for Obie's eight strikeouts and only three runs allowed, though science has not yet proven the causality there.

No, all we know for sure about Full Springer is that its devastating in its power. It's awesome in its might. It finally went to the opposite field, like all its critics have been saying it should do for weeks now.

Full Springer is something to behold. Let's hope the sanctions imposed on the Astros for releasing their personal Kraken won't hurt the team Sunday.