Look, I'm prone to hyperbole. You know this. You've read from me about how this or that is the greatest thing in the world, just because it mentioned monkeys or nerdery or something.
Understand, then, that all hyperbole goes out the window with this. If there's one change we can make this season at Astros games, it needs to be this. While perusing Bill Simmons' NBA mailbag this week, I stumbled across this idea:
Q: I'm sure you heard that the Washington Professional Basketball Team put Miami Heat fans on a "Bandwagon Cam" at the game in DC tonight. I cannot tell you how happy this made me. My question is simple: Why doesn't every other arena in the NBA do this???
-Clark Gerber, Provo, UT
SG: I'm demanding it. People running the video screens for the other 28 teams - let's get this done. You see Heat fans or Thunder fans at your arena in good seats, you throw them on the Bandwagon Cam during a timeout. Just do it. It will be a bigger hit than the Kiss Cam. (Thinking.) Actually, nothing will ever be a bigger hit than the Kiss Cam. ABC should just stop launching new shows and broadcast the Kiss Cam in prime time for 10 hours a week. What would you rather watch - a new drama starring Christian Slater and Steve Zahn, or the Kiss Cam?
Astros, I implore you. Make this happen.
Imagine how sweet it would be for them to put all those stupid Rangers fans, or Yankees fans, or Boston fans or all those invading fans who come to MMP and try to outcheer Astros fans right up on the big board. What's more, embarass them by calling them Bandwagon Fans.
It'd be great. It'd be necessary. It'd rally Astros fans to your side for the entire season. I don't ask you to sign players. I don't ask you to make trades. But, I'm asking you to do this.
The only thing that'd be better than seeing a dumb Rangers fan in a Berkman jersey on the big screen with the words 'Bandwagon Fan' underneath would be for Chris Carter to walk up to 'TROOOGDOOOOR' this year.
Make this happen.