Tonight was the best of times, it was also the worst of times. The Astros had the return of Matt Dominguez, but they didn't televise the game. Therefore, I am about to give you a game recap like no other - a game recap made by the fans, but with annotated commentary added by me. It's all the new rage in order to provide the best consumer experience possible. But before you scroll past this meaningless text in order to fill up the page to make it seem like I put forth effort in making this recap while I totally did not, I would like to point out that Matt Dominguez tonight was just fantastic with the bat. He hit his 1st major league triple and he also hit a double to go along with it. He is the Astros player of the game - if there is one. So if you forget everything that has been written in this recap today, I want you to remember one thing: Matt Dominguez is pretty exciting, and it will be fun to see him progress.
Also, Tyler Greene hit another homerun. He will also be one to watch as well. Mr. Jordan Lyles had another big inning. I think as Lyles progresses, he will get better. His velocity is improving immensly with his fastball and his curveball has taken great strides as well. He is still learning, so don't give up on him yet.
Hmmm, very nice very nice. It looks like Lyles has his arm working today, that's going to be key to pitching well.
That's interesting. So Jason Castro is driving a vehicle, yes, around the bases with Altuve in the passenger(?) seat. And I assume that the "2 out double" means the two guys, Altuve and Castro, going out on a double [date](?). That's very interesting, and all this during a baseball game!
So [Sam] Houston scored a run? Whose run was he scoring? Was this a track race? Please speak up.
Hmm, that's pretty impressive if Lyles can catch a bullet from a gun shot right at him. Did he catch it between his teeth?
Timmy, it's impossible to make a spherical object into a square. Stop with this nonsense!
Well if you're getting sick, maybe you need to see a doctor. I don't think that's normal.
A belt is an inert object. Belts don't do things, people do things - with belts, you see.
I'm sorry, what else were you going to say? I think we're breaking up over here.. he... hello?.. chhhh..he...chhhhhhhhhh...
I would agree with that statement. All you need is some scrap lumber and some barbed wire. You can build a bullpen fairly quickly and with no monetary costs other than barbed wire.
Three dirty sliders? I bet that'll make the restaurant report! Someone needs to get the roaches out of the kitchen and cook the meat to 175! That's just poor kitchen techniques.