As weeks drag on, I find it more difficult to write this column. Not because I have lost my passion for baseball or writing, but rather because I am running out of metaphors for how useless the Astros have been to fantasy managers over the past month or so.
I won't bother with "Looking Back" or "Looking Ahead" because neither is worth looking at. Here is a weekly summary:
- Wandy Rodriguez was good, but only in five innings.
- Brett Myers got a save.
- The Astros' only good hitter was Scott Moore, but nobody owned him on Fantasy Teams, so who cares?
| Hitters | |||||||
| Name | Rank | R | HR | RBI | SB | AVG | OPS |
| Scott Moore | 100 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 0 | 0.276 | 0.897 |
| José Altuve | 136 | 3 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 0.250 | 0.611 |
| Jordan Schafer | 268 | 3 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 0.217 | 0.554 |
| J.D. Martínez | 271 | 3 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 0.286 | 0.739 |
| Brian Bogusevic | 365 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 0.200 | 0.533 |
| Chris Snyder | 720 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0.429 | 1.207 |
| Jason Castro | 740 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 0.333 | 0.770 |
| Carlos Lee | 746 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0.240 | 0.681 |
| Jed Lowrie | 752 | 3 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0.217 | 0.606 |
| Brian Bixler | 1265 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.167 | 0.334 |
| Matt Downs | 1285 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.000 | - |
| Chris Johnson | 1313 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.188 | 0.528 |
| Pitchers | |||||||
| Name | Rank | W | L | SV | ERA | WHIP | K/9 |
| Wandy Rodríguez | 112 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0.00 | 1.12 | 8.44 |
| Brett Myers | 198 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0.00 | 0.67 | 0.00 |
| Rhiner Cruz | 305 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3.00 | 1.00 | 12.00 |
| Bud Norris | 313 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2.57 | 1.14 | 7.71 |
| Brandon Lyon | 803 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 7.36 | 1.36 | 12.27 |
| Wesley Wright | 853 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 13.50 | 2.25 | 13.50 |
| David Carpenter | 1205 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 13.50 | 2.25 | 0.00 |
| Lucas Harrell | 1240 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 9.00 | 1.80 | 16.20 |
| Fernando Rodríguez | 1312 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 9.00 | 2.25 | 11.25 |
| Dallas Keuchel | 1341 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 6.35 | 1.94 | 3.18 |
| J.A. Happ | 1361 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 9.95 | 1.58 | 5.68 |
| Jordan Lyles | 1362 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 7.36 | 1.45 | 7.36 |
The Crawfish Boxes: HMC Wrecking Crew is back in first after winning against Cocamos. Best win goes to Tu Many Altooves who beat Lima-Time Clan by 12-0. Best win that did not involve a team missing inning requirements was Jellystone Berra's 2-9-1 win over me.
TCB Baseball Madness: The Beers is now in first place with a 10-1-1 win over brad e. That was also the most lopsided win of the week. Best legitimate win (inning requirements again) was Houston Buffs..? over Joe Morgan's a Fool by 9-3.
Boxes O' Crawfish: Astros don't suck now has a commanding lead after a legitimate 12-0 win over Bayou Dogs. Both teams met inning requirements, but ADS just dominated every category with All-Star worthy weeks from Mike Trout, Adam Lind, and James McDonald.