Astros Manhandle The Padres In Abusive 2-0 Beating

Like the quiet kid in class that always gets picked on, the Astros had enough with their losing ways and couldn't take it anymore. Towels in the hands of a greedy J.A. Happ, ripped in pieces in the 7th inning, Happ stood in the dugout and stared toward the mound where Fernando Rodriguez stood with the bases loaded in a 2-0 game. The lights of the stadium barreling down onto that pitching mound as the Padres fans cheered on. They cheered so loud. So loud for a -- a strikeout on the high-heater from Fernando Rodriguez. 2 outs. J.A Happ still standing in that dugout, pitching shutout baseball for the first time since May 17th of this year. If young F-Rod gave up a single hit, all the work that J.A. Happ put together would have been undone. But lights, still glaring so brightly, F-Rod still on the mound, staring at his catcher who is giving the signs. He sets. He delivers. Batter swings. Flies out to Jordan Schafer! This inning is over!

Alas, the win was a well needed relief for a struggling Astros team and it was also the longest 2-0 game in National League history. J.A. Happ pitched a perfect game, (no, not a perfect perfect game, just a really good solid win), going 6.1 innings, 4 hits, 1 walk, 4 strikeouts, and 0 runs, the first time he gave up 0 earned runs in a game in exactly two months. Fernando Rodriguez came in with runners on 1st and 2nd with only 1 out. He acted nobly and punched out a batter with his fists of steal and used the uppercut on another batter, causing him to hit the ball in the air like a lackadaisical dog marking his territory like nobody cares. Wilton Lopez regulated in the 8th inning, going swoosh, striking out a batter in another scoreless inning of work. Brett Myers came into the game like a tiger that hadn't eaten in a month, having a feast and making mincemeat of the last 4 Padres hitters of the game, who all went out none too majestically with sad looks on their faces and a loss on their minds. I don't care what else happened. The Astros won, and that's all that matters.

The Stats of a Winner:

CJ walked 3 times. Astros batters on a whole had a total of 9 walks.

Scott Moore drove in the only two runs on sac-flies

The Astros stole 5 bases, Schafer (2), Altuve, Marwin, Bogusevic