Remember those rules for writing about a bad team I came up with a few days ago? Forget them for a bit.
Hey everyone, did you hear the Houston Astros and MLB are discussing realignment? Apparently, they're heading to the Texas League.
People were saying Houston had a Triple-A lineup for most of the 2011 season. To show them different, Ed Wade put together a Double-A lineup.
In a bid to save his job, Ed Wade decided to hold the Futures Game again. Every game. For the rest of the 2011 season.
Have you heard about these attendance troubles Houston's been having this season? Well, apparently Drayton found out how well Corpus Christi did at the box office and decided to get the gang back together at Minute Maid Park. No word on whether the seagulls will be joining the team, too.
One more, one more...Jim Crane told Ed Wade to get "creative" at the trade deadline, so Wade went with the rarely seen "youth movement's youth movement." Anyone over 25 was too old to play regularly. Unless their name was Carlos Lee.
That last one was pretty bad, so I'll stop with the Jay Leno jokes. Know that several hundred more have run through my head in the past 13 hours, but these latest moves just take the cake.
In retrospect, I'm not as upset about the Bourn deal as I was before. I'm just disappointed, because the Astros got much less than Bourn was worth. I can't be mad about that, though, since we all were pretty sure that was going to happen anyway. Bourn isn't a flashy enough offensive player to command a huge return and he was always going to be more valuable to the Astros than to another team. Unfortunately, the Astros didn't seem to value him very highly either.
Looking at the prospects coming to Houston in the Bourn deal, both Oberholtzer and Clemens have shown good stuff, but they're not overwhelmingly good. If Clemens puts things together, he's easily the best player in this deal, but that's a big if. Houston also got a slightly better version of Dallas Keuchel in Oberholtzer, which is also not going to sell a bunch of tickets. Oh, and don't get me started on Jordan Schafer. I know the talent is there. I realize he could just need a change of scenery, but I just don't see it. Yes, he's a good defensive center fielder and may just need time to find his legs like Bourn did. But, you're telling me that was the centerpiece of the trade? A change of scenery guy?
Then, to cap off the night's WTF-ness, Houston brings up Jimmy Paredes and designated Brett Wallace and Chris Johnson for assignment. Again, not really that surprising, since Johnson isn't a prospect any more and has more evidence to him being this kind of hitter than the one he was at the end of last season. Plus, with Wallace losing time at the big league level, the logical move was to have him play every day at Triple-A.
The weirdest part was calling up Paredes. With J.D. Martinez and Jose Altuve, there was at least overwhelming evidence that they were very hot. Paredes hasn't exactly set the world on fire in Corpus, but has been good. What's the chance that he succeeds, though? How is he anything more than cannon fodder right now?
Maybe Wade got scared that the Astros might lose that No. 1 draft pick, what with Seattle's recent 17-game losing streak. The only way to assure they'd get there is by calling up players who are wildly unprepared. I'm not saying Martinez and Altuve won't be okay, but I see far less hope for Paredes acquitting himself well this season. Which means Houston won't be any better than they've been AND they'll be paying much sooner for some of their prospects.
I have no idea what's going on with this team. Let me sleep on it and we'll talk some more.