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Putting the All in All Stars

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It must stink to be a Yankees' fan, always having to justify their team's selections on the All-Star team. It must really be a hassle trying to justify Derek Jeter's and Russell Martin's selections to friends. I imagine it is intolerable. Luckily, the Astros' lone representative is the well deserved Hunter Pence, who despite a career year, made the team because every team gets an All Star. This should make Houston fans happy because we don't need to do pointless justification.

Unfortunately, it is too late to make a concerted effort to stuff the All-Star Ballot with Astros' representative. As luck would have it, I decided to vote for all the Astros this year. Should I feel bad? Probably, but it is a "fan" vote and I only voted once. Nevertheless, I have decided to justify all the Astros as All-Stars on the 25 man roster.


Carlos Corporan - was definitely the hardest case. He wears 22, so he must be 11 times better than Derek Jeter.

Humberto Quintero- played in the Astros's magical season of 2005. So, he must be good.


Clint Barmes - defensive ace. He is 11th in the MLB for Ultimate Zone Rating.

Matt Downs- was on the 2010 World Series champ Giants' team, but was waived in August. Still, he probably had some impact.

Chris Johnson- pretty sure he is the Tennessee Titans' running back that rushed for 2,006 yards in 2010. I could be wrong, but I doubt it.

Jeff Keppinger - is always among the leaders in contact rate. So, he can definitely hit the ball.

Angel Sanchez- is the ultimate team player. He has 1 career homerun. Obviously, he likes to let his teammates get involved.

Brett Wallace- if only Minor League and College Stats translated, then he would be one of the greats. He is having a good 2nd year, while hovering around hitting .300.


Brian Bogusevic- pitcher turned outfielder, who was the team's 1st round pick in 2005. At the time, he was compared to the great Mark Mulder.

Michael Bourn - leads the league in stolen bases. Plus, he is a two time Gold Glove winner.

Carlos Lee - He is certainly paid like an All Star.

Jason Michaels- holds University of Miami's single-season records for hits (106), doubles (32) and total bases (189).

Hunter Pence- He is an All Star, so I don't need to argue this.


David Carpenter- has a 0.00 E.R.A. That's 1.76 runs lower than current leader Jared Weaver.

Enerio Del Rosario - has not given up a run in his last five appearances. Why punish him for a bad beginning?

Sergio Escalona - could "surge" onto the team with a 2.76 E.R.A.

J.A. Happ - He is leading the Major Leagues in losses (11). That takes initiative.

Wilton Lopez- nobody pumps up the crowd like Wilton when he dashes to the mound. Plus, he has a respectable E.R.A.

Jordan Lyles- despite not having a win, he has looked good on the mound. Plus, he is only 20 years old, which would make him months younger than the youngest All Star (Starlin Castro).

Mark Melancon- he has done a decent job closing for the Astros. Plus, he is well rested with few opportunities.

Brett Myers- is a true innings eater. He is averaging 6 1/3 innings pitched per start. His selection would mean MLB would avoid another tie like 2002 All Star game.

Bud Norris- has looked awfully impressive this year while tallying more strikeouts than innings pitched (113 Ks in 112 innings).

Aneury Rodriguez - Baseball America said he could be the steal of the Rule V draft.

Fernando Rodriguez- could easily get his name confused with Francisco Rodriguez. That alone makes him an All Star.

Wandy Rodriguez- is among the top players that are likely to be traded before the deadline, which is weird because that would mean the Astros were out of contention.

Fallen Stars - Injured, Demoted, or Cut Astros' Players

Bill Hall- is currently on the San Francisco Giants' roster. He has struck out (964) than he has hit (825) in his career, which means at least he won't go down looking.

Brandon Lyons - his Opening Day blown save paved the way for the Phillies to have the MLB's best record. Plus, he has a perfect batting average.

J.R. Towles- was once the team's top prospect in 2008.

Robison Cancel- His last name is Cancel, so he cancels all other all stars out.

Nelson Figueroa- is the active leader in career wins and strikeouts in the minor leagues.

Future Star

Jose Altuve- was 2-3 in the Future's Game. Plus, he is nicknamed the Mighty Mouse.

With so many All Stars pulling out of the game, maybe my dream of an all Astros' All Star Team will come true. Overall, this task was way harder than I thought. Next time I vote, I'm keeping my mouth closed. I should probably become a calisthenics instructor after making all those stretches.