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A Mad Lib, Houston Astros style!

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Use the following key to fill out the Mad Lib!

(1): Noun

(2): Verb ending in "ing"

(3): Occupation

(4): Number

(5): NL Central city

(6): Verb

(7): Adjective

(8): Noun

First, think of your answers and then read the following short, Astros-related paragraph by inserting your answers in the matching blanks. Post your answers in the comments so that everyone can share in the Mad Lib you created!

Note: If this is terrible....just deal with it! I'm thinking outside of the box here!

Ten days away from Opening Day, and Carlos Lee's thighs are looking ____________________(7). Watching a ball hit to left field is like watching the final round of Legends of the Hidden Temple, right before a temple guard jumps out and grabs one of the kids. You know what's coming, it's gonna be ugly, but you can't look away. Anyways,  without a doubt, our Astros are going to be better than the turd-brains from __________________(5). Honestly though. Lance is going to march through and lay waste to that team's pitching staff. No doubt about it- this is gonna be our year.

Just think about it- in ten days, it's Roy Oswalt against Tim Lincecum. I'm pretty sure that if 'ol Tiny Tim wasn't a ballplayer he'd be a _____________________(3). That long stride of his sure would come in handy, eh? Attendance probably won't be an issue on April 5th, but the next 80 home games may be an issue for the Astros. To compensate for a less than great on field product, Drayton McLane has come up with lots of promotions. That Drayton. I'm willing to bet that he's going to be our team's owner for another ____________________(4) day(s). Enough to make you start rooting for the Pirates! (Not really. Rooting for the Pirates is enough to make you want to go __________________(2).)

So, as we head into the final week of Spring Training, I think it's important to remember that in circumstances like these, you can always count on ______________________(1). I mean, sure, the Astros are universally looked down upon by the blogs and websites that most of read with the most frequency, but all is not lost. Hope springs eternal for the 30 MLB teams this time of year. So why not look on the bright side? Don't all the clubs start 0-0?

Take that attitude with you as the Astros begin this season. If you live in the Houston area, spend a buck or two (or 40) on an evening at Minute Maid. Should be nice spring weather. Hell, the air won't be so sticky that the guy next to you will smell like a  ______________(8). Go for it, live it up before Kaz has a chance to pull a groin, and Tim Byrdak gives up another homer to a left handed hitter.

If you live outside the Houston area, _________________(6) to a bar, restaurant or delicious, delicious wing-emporium, and watch the Astros with an unbridled sense of optimism. Even if we play poorly I can almost guarantee that it will be more enjoyable than completing this Mad Lib.