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GM for the day: What would you do if Ed Wade handed you the key to the Astros?

We're pretty much at the first of two nadir's for the baseball offseason (is that possible in the logical sense?).  This week and then those two of purgatory before pitchers and catchers report.  So what better for us to do than do what we nerds of our mother's basement do than prognosticate about what'd we'd do if we were in charge.  I mean, that is what a baseball blog's function is, in a sense; at least, that's what attracted to me this in the first place.

So imagine this scenario: Your cell phone goes off, and you don't recognize the 713 number that's calling you. Perplexed, but intrigued, you decide to pick it up. Lo and behold—it's Ed Wade.  He's calling to tell you that he's been reading your posts/comments on this site and he thinks you'd be a great "top advisor," which he explains to essentially be relieving of his duties and taking over as GM.  This doesn't mean you get to march into Drayton's office and start demanding money to work with, or that you'll have Billy Beane luck at making awesome trades come out of thin air, seemingly.

At this point, I'm sure that for most of us, the thrill of the moment has subsided as we realize: "Oh God D@^nit!, I really have to figure things out."  But, we'd persevere.  We persevere  every day here in the comments section, so for sake of keeping the discussion interesting: Let's do it again.

None of us think about the team the same way, so all ideas are fair game—so long as the rules are followed.

The rules are fairly simple:

  1. The most you can persuade Drayton into spending this offseason is $95 million.
  2. If you propose a trade, that pieces have to match reality.  This isn't fantasy baseball. This means Carlos Lee isn't going anywhere.
  3. Arbitration decisions have to be made.  That's both offers and amounts for Wandy Rodriguez, Hunter Pence, and Jeff Keppinger, plus whoever you realistically believe will accept from Jose Valverde, Miguel Tejada, and LaTroy Hawkins.
Go forth.  Let your imaginations run wild.