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Matchup/Game Thread Game # 26 at Brewers

Astrokillah? I think the jury's still out.
Fernando Nieve Ben Sheets
0 - 0, 4.50 1 - 2, 4.00

Click for what Garner REALLY said about Biggio's would-be triple in the eighth, but what I'd like to do here is pull a Richard Justice, and create an elaborate dreamworld so that I can put my own biased words into Phil's mouth.

{Cue Dream Sequence Music}

Bryan McTaggart: Phil, the second out in the top of the eighth really seemed to turn the momentum . . .

Alysson Footer. . .which had seemed to be going in the Astros' direction . . . .

Jim DeShaies: . . .after the wildly improbable Eric Munson homer.

Phil Garner: You said it, Bryan. And you said it, Alysson, and you definitely said it, JD. I'm not sure exactly what Biggio was thinking there.

DeShaies: Could you guess?

Garner: Yeah. I'd guess he had his freakin' head up his ass. As you all know, the unfortunate part here is that Craig is a veteran presence on the Astros. And I believe one of my predecessors found out just how much that means. So I won't be able to do what I'd most like to do, which is to ship Craig's ass down to . . .oh, Salem in the Carolina League, for fifteen days, so he can work on his baserunning thought processes.

Although my managerial style recently has been pretty whitebread, mostly 'cause I've hamstrung myself by batting Taveras in the two-slot, I will talk up a good game when it comes to being aggressive. But even when I was leading the Astros in triples in '85, I was never stupidly aggressive. I was never mind-numbingly, ridiculously moronic in trying to take that extra base. I never so blithely lost the momentum for my team . . . .

I was never so horrendously, disgustingly, gutwrenchingly, putridly sickened by anything so, so idiotic, so imbecilic. . .

McTaggart (moving slowly towards Phil's desk): Calm down Phil.

Garner: Yeah. Sorry about that. Anyway, you get my point.

All Assembled reporters, kind of sleepily, but in unison: We do.

{Uncue dream music, and as FJM says, Flourish, Exeunt, Curtain}

There are Astrokillahs, there are pseudo-Astrokillahs, and then there are those who rest on their Astrokillah laurels.

Ben Sheets is an Astrokillah.

A little predeliction for the long ball on Sheets' part is the Astros' only saving grace. They are truly blessed to be 6 - 9 against the guy.

Actually, Berkman does pretty well off Sheets, considering: he's 14 for 41 with 5 doubles, three homers and ten RBI. Lane is 5 for 14 with four doubles, Mike Lamb 4 for 14 with a double a triple and a homer. Morgan is 1 for 16, but the hit was a homer!

Houston is second in the league in home OPS, Milwaukee second in road OPS. Houston is eighth in road OPS, Milwaukee fifth in OPS at home.

It's possible that the absence of Qualls last night played as big a role in the loss of the game than anything else, and I include the double-that-wasn't when I say that. The difference between Wheeler in the seventh and Wheeler in the eighth was that stark. I know that Wheeler has pitched long outings before, but I wonder . . .

Anyway, no Qualls tonight either, and Danley was stretched out last night, and we've got Nieve--who's never gotten out of the fifth--starting.

You wonder if the funeral could've waited. . . .

Go Astros, though it may not do any good.