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MLB Fantasy Guide

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"I Got Yer 'Nervy
Success' Right Here!"

While the rest of the univere has gone fantasy mad, I've stayed away.  I figure, what's the point?  I'd pick all Astros anyway, and I can see how they're doing in the standings every morning.

Or let's say I felt I had to sacrifice Adam Everett coz fantasy doesn't pick his leather up properly.  Let's say I pick Miguel Tejada or someone for the Rastronomicals Nine.  Then come interleague, I'm doing the perambulations necessary rooting for Tejada to do well in a loss to the 'Stros?  

Come on.

So I save myself some time and some money by staying away.

But gotta admit, the fantasy boom has done tons for the state of baseball inquiry and research. I'm pretty sure there wouldn't be the interest in  VORP or PECOTA or any of that crap if it weren't for the multitude of office leagues around.  

So I couldn't help but note the Official Major League© Fantasy Guide posted on the MLB sites this morning.

I'm all for reality, but some of the writeups seem, I dunno, a trifle harsh.  

Check out Bags:

There was a time when Jeff Bagwell was the best fantasy first baseman in baseball, someone who could rip 40 homers and swipe 20-30 bases on a consistent basis. However, the years have taken their toll on his shoulder, rendering him a shell of his former self. Bags wants badly to return as Houston's primary first baseman, but his team would prefer he cite his shoulder ailments and leave the game, letting insurance pay $15.6 million of the $17 million he's owed. Bagwell has no intention of hanging 'em up, but that doesn't mean the Astros have to play him. If they don't want him, neither do you.

Whoa.  Or how about Brandon Backe, no matter what else you might say, a man with a serviceable curveball:

Backe has made something of a reputation based on his ace playoff performances after modest regular season work. Chalk those nervy successes up to the small sample. Backe has neither the power nor control to keep Major League hitters off base and in the yard on a regular basis. His arm is live enough to pin hopes on, but chances are someone else will be overly excited about what they saw on TV last October.

I guess better blunt than the asslicking alternative is what they're figuring .  .  .

Wonder if the Player's Union has an opinion?