Mariners 10, Astros 4: McHugh roughed up, Springer goes DEEP

Bob Levey

Monday did not find the Astros covering themselves in glory.

All this has happened before.

Seattle is really the only team to hang crooked numbers on Collin McHugh. He shut them down in that first start and, since then, the M's have owned him. I assume this is all part of his plan, where he keeps giving up homer after homer, until we travel the world to get the entire human population to yell, "McHugh," at the same time.

Or something less nerdy than that, like they just hit his fastball better than most.

Oh, and those jerks from Seattle came into Houston with their fancy coffee and their grunge music and hit National Treasure Jose Altuve in the elbow. The M's are staying in the Holiday In Express next to MMP, in suites 5-11. Feel free to let them know your displeasure.

The only good thing to come out of this black-eye of a day for the Astros?

George Effin' Springer. Dude launched a 445-foot home run to left field that's the fifth-longest in the park's history. Some say he shattered the glass of that wall/roof. Some say his home run burned up before it re-entered the Earth's atmosphere. Only those who were there know for sure, since there are no other physical records of his feat.

What's that? CSN Houston carried the game? Now you're just making up words. There's no such thing.

#analysis

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