The 2014 Houston Astros Promotional Schedule

Need one more bobblehead on your shelf? The Astros have got you covered in 2014.

There isn't much I mark down on my calendar anymore, most of my sport calendar is just alerts from my ESPN app. The few exceptions to that rule are fanfest (now over), the day that pitchers and catchers report, and the days they give out the "will stab to obtain'' promotions as Grant Brisbee puts it. Normally it doesn't come to violence to get a giveaway, but you never know.

Of course any bobblehead shoots up to the top of the list, the Astros have pulled back from their previous years with an overwhelming number of historical bobbleheads. I not sure if that is because the Astros lack a prominent faces to adorn in plaster and paint, or if bobbleheads are not longer a draw. Personally I'm a fan of the Brewers policy when it comes to bobbleheads, they give 40,000 of said bobblehead but 10,000 have an alternate jersey on. You don't have to fight for a bobblehead. Either way, you'll still find me hours before the game waiting outside MMP for one of these beauties.

Events

4/4 Big & Bright Friday Night

4/25 Big & Bright Friday Night

4/27 Dog Day

5/2 Big & Bright Friday Night

5/18 Big & Bright Friday Night

5/30 Big & Bright Friday Night - Civil Rights Game

6/13 Big & Bright Friday Night

6/14 Faith and Family Night featuring MerceyMe

6/27 Big & Bright Friday Night

7/11 Big & Bright Friday Night

8/1 Big & Bright Friday Night

9/19 Big & Bright Friday Night

9/20 Fiestas Patrias Event

Friday Night Fireworks presented by Marathon Oil Corporation - Every Friday Home Game

Explosions are always a good way to cap off a night at the ballpark. The team that puts together the fireworks show are truly top of the line and shouldn't be missed even if it's past your bed on Friday night. The removal of the left-field wall signs will only help the matter.

Dog day, I have mixed feeling about dog day. I prefer dogs but don't own one. The same question keeps popping to my head, what do you do when they have to go to the bathroom?

Useful

4/1 Schedule Magnet (40,000 Fans)

4/5 Gym Bag (10,000 Fans)

4/6 Green Tote Bag (10,000 Fans)

7/25 Big & Bright Friday Night - Beach Towel (10,000 Fans)

7/26 Sunglasses (10,000 Fans)

Much like the rings on a tree, you can tell how long I have lived at one place by the number of paper/magnet sports calendars are on the fridge. The bags are for the diehard fans and collectors to return another day and fill said bags with whatever cumbersome promotion may be given away that day . Living in Houston, a beach towel and sunglasses can be very useful, that is all.

Stuff

5/3 Los Astros T-Shirt (10,000 Fans) - Cinco De Mayo Event

5/31 Altuve Orange Jersey - (10,000 Fans)

6/28 Orbit Rainbow Jersey (10,000 Fans)

6/29 Orbit Antenna (10,000 Fans)

8/9 Cowboy Hat (10,000 Fans)

8/29 Big & Bright Friday Night - Lone Star Series Shirt (10,000 Fans)

9/21 2014 Team Poster (10,000 Fans)

These things fall under "stuff" because they are shirts/t-shirt jerseys in a size XL. An XL that never quit fits right on anyone. The Orbit Antenna is the most perplexing thing on the schedule, I would imagine there much like bunny ears. I'm no grammar expert, but I thought the plural of antenna was antennae? So maybe it's an antenna to signal Orbit's mother ship.

It's cool and all that the Astros embrace the image of Texas by giving away a cowboy hat. But, where is the fedora tribly day? The Rangers and Padres have one, why not the Astros? Houston is missing a golden opportunity, they have hat connoisseur Kevin Goldstein on staff. Goldstein is known (among his many talents) for his baseball knowledge, humor, and his hats. I'm not saying make it Kevin Goldstein night but let him design it. I'll happily embarrass myself with my 7 7/8 Kevin Mench head on the TCB instagram that day.

I WANT

4/26 Castro All-Star Bobblehead (10,000 Fans)

2014-01-25_11

5/17 Astros Gnome (10,000 Fans) - Bayou Bash Event

6/15 Father's Day BBQ Grill Set (10,000 Fans)

8/8 Big & Bright Friday Night - Cowboy Boot Mug (10,000 Fans)

2014-01-25_11

8/30 Nolan and Reid Ryan Dual Bobblehead (10,000 Fans)

$1 Hot Dogs presented by H-E-B - Every Thursday Home Game

Now the gold mine, a catcher is always a great bobblehead especially if you put in him in his full gear. I expect to find Terri waiting in line for the dreamy-eyed Castro bobblehead with me. While the Astros gnome doesn't match the glory of last year's Nolan Ryan gnome from the Hooks, it's still terrifying enough to be a must in my collection. The cowboy boot mug I imagine will be a prize among hipsters 50 years from know, just corny enough it works. Finally, we have the Nolan and Reid Ryan dual bobblehead. I don't know what to make of it, but this is what I might look like.

Ryans_bobblehead_medium

I haven't made up my mind if it's cool or disturbing.

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