Much debate has raged on the internet about the "unwatchable" Houston Astros due to their minuscule payroll. The debate appears to be centered on whether or not you agree that if the Astros' front office would have spent an additional $20 million on players this past off season, the team would be more competitive and/or "watchable." A big issue with this entire conversation has been about the concept of what is considered "watchable." In this post, I will attempt to put together the most "watchable" Houston Astros team I possibly can while remaining within my financial confines of $20 million additional dollars. (Please note: I may go slightly over $20 million in this exercise, but that's with the assumption that with the addition of certain players, you must also subtract current players and their salaries. This is a humorous post, so please don't get too caught up in the money.)
League Minimum Additions
1) Jose Canseco: This guy would kill for an opportunity to play in the bigs if someone would just give him the contract to do so. Canseco was a player before his time, in that he'd be a perfect fit for the current Astros. He's going to swing and miss. He's going to hit homeruns. He's going to walk (some). But what makes him watchable?
Ball bounces off Canseco's head (via POGlegend42)
This does. If you told me I'd have a chance to see that every night, I'd most certainly tune in. Plus, Jose's nearly a lock to get a reality TV show if you put him on an active roster.
2) Danny Almonte: The young phenom with the electric fastball is all grown up to the ripe old age of
24 26 years. He's now a high school baseball coach (according to Wikipedia), therefore he's still engrossed with the game. He'd be an immediate upgrade in the interest department of Houston fans, and I bet he'd sign for cheap just to get a chance to play again. Plus, he's used to being a little older than most of the guys in the club house.
The players who cost more
3) Chad Ochocinco (1 year deal- $3.5 million: Chad isn't cutting it any more in the NFL. He's an attention-whore who loves the spotlight. What better way to bring attention to our beloved team than bring in a guy who's made for the main event? He's entertaining, funny, and most importantly, HE MAY BRING US HIS OWN NETWORK!!! Thus, by the whole point of this post, if we can watch Ochocinco play centerfield for our Astros by watching on his channel, the entire team becomes more watchable!
4) Roger/Koby Clemens (1 year deal- $16 million): Everyone loves a tear-jerking story. There's no better than the possibility of watching a father pitch a game while his son plays catcher. Would they help us win games? Maybe. Would they attract fans? Certainly. Would you tune in at least once to see this? Absolutely.
So there you have it. My "watchable" Astros additions that would hopefully come in under a $20 million cap. Root. Root. Root.