Top 10 Reasons for our continued ineptitude, as told by a casual fan:

1. "They never shoulda got rid of ol' Bagwell and Biggio. I don't know what they were thinkin."

2. "This newfangled front office of ours trades off everybody who's doin' good."

3. "This new front office just won't spend any money like Drayton woulda. No sir, ol' McClane woulda never stood for all this losin"

4. "Those sissies we got out there on the mound now don't make it deep enough into games. Why, I'll betchu if they still had ol' Clemens and Pettitte, we'd be in the playoffs, just like '05."

5. "They never should got rid of ol' Oswalt (while pronouncing it 'Ozwald')."

6. "They don't play that new hotshot shortstop who was knockin' the cover off that ball anymore."

7. "Altuve's too short. We need some bigger ballplayers."

8. "They're not keepin their eye on the ball! I don't know HOW many times I told 'em..."

9. "They never shoulda got rid of ol' Carlos Lee, now that guy was a ballplayer."

10. "That ol Rodriguez hasn't been worth his salt lately." me, interjecting- "Fernando?" "Who? No, Wandy. I think we oughta get rid of him."

And there you have it. There's our problems.