Without further adieu, where the Astros fall in some pertinent categories:

Bullpen WPA (Win Probability Added): 5.56 (2nd in NL)

Team OPS+: 99.1

Staff SLG% against: .440 (NL average .417)

Team RZR (Revised Zone Rating): .846 (Tied for first in NL with St. Louis) Sidenote- Miggy had a LOT to do with this. Lance wasn't too shabby either

Now, then, find your Styx T-shirt. Wash the Cheetos stains off your fingers and close your MacBook for the night....we're going to an awards show. Not just any awards show either.....

The Inaugural "Staties: Stat Nerds can give awards too!", presented by Ovaltine, in conjunction with the "Dungeons and Dragons/World of Warcraft Counsel for Inter-Game Dialouge"

Those teams that win a Staty will be given a bronze gold plated pocket protector, complete with mini compass and protractor. (Ovaltine sprung for gold plating at the last minute)

Now then, let's hand out some hardware....

The "They never even considered signing Barry Bonds Award", goes to.....

The Toronto Blue Jays: Starting Pitcher WPA: 9.42, Batting WPA: -10.20

I mean, maybe Brad Wilkerson has some incriminating photos of JP Riccardi?

The "Horseshoes and Hand-Grenades Award", goes to.....

The Washington Nationals, and their 28-45 record in "close" games (I'm assuming this is games decided by 3 runs or less) (Houston was 41-31, by the way)

The "Everything in Moderation" award goes to....

The Texas Rangers: Team OPS+ of 107.1, Team ERA+ of 77.6.

Finally, the "Two Out Hit gets you into Heaven award for Clutchness (despite the fact that we nerds don't necessarily believe in the "clutch" hit)....

The Minnesota Twins and their .305 BA with RISP, compared to an AL average of .273

-That's it, folks! Be careful waiting for your moms to come pick you up! Remember to grab  a gift bag on your way out of the auditorium. (Bags include a year's supply of OxyClean acne medication, a pair of one-size-fits-all velcro sandals, and a super-mini space heater, for those cold nights sleeping in your parent's basements.)

Source of all the statistics used: hardballtimes.com